Teasing & Staring

“Sometimes when people stare at me I just go up to them and ask them if they would like to hear my story. I have been teased, but when it happens I just ask the person a question like, ‘Why are your eyes that color?’ or ‘Why do you have curly hair?’ or something else like that.”

~ Li

“I believe that everyone as a child or a teenager has been teased for one reason or another. If it were not my leg that was their excuse, it would have been my hair. When people stare at me, I look them straight in the eye, I smile, and I keep walking.

~ Beau

“If someone stares at me, I usually just stare back. My brother used to tell annoying people that one day, I woke up and my hand wasn't there, and that's what happens to rude people.”

~ Mia

“I look back at people when they are staring at me. When they make eye contact, I give them a really big smile and wave. They usually look at me like I'm crazy!”

~ Nicole

“I don’t get teased so much, but I do get weird looks. If a hot guy stares at me, I smile. If it’s an older person, I keep on doing what I’m doing. To be blunt, everybody thinks I’m amazing. So I put on a little show by picking things up with my feet. I learned that I get overwhelmed when I’m surrounded by lots of little kids. Last summer I went to this thing with my family where there were about 20 little kids standing around staring and asking questions. I don’t do so well with that, but maybe one day I’ll be able to handle it.”

~ Debra

Curiosity & Questions

“About once a month someone asks me what happened. Sometimes I do get tired of it. (The next person to ask could very well be the ten-thousandth person to do so.) In some cases I may have known this person for years, but they may have been too shy to bring it up sooner. I always try to keep the story as short and to-the-point as possible. ‘I was born like this,’ I say. If people know why, they are more likely to not look at me any differently. The most important thing I do is smile and make sure that I say it nicely. Everyone is curious and I understand why people want to know. What can I say? I am fascinating. A person cannot learn without asking questions. It may get irritating at times but I don’t mind. I would rather people ask than assume.”

~ Beau

“The most annoying questions are,  ‘Were you hit by a train?’ and ‘Did you get your leg bitten off by a shark?’ These two questions are on my personal black list. Although most teachers will tell their students that there is no dumb question, I disagree. When anyone asks me one of these questions I give them a clearly disappointed look, tell them that I was born like this.”

~ Beau

 “Some people ask really stupid things like, ‘Are you right or left handed?’ when it’s obvious I don't have a right hand. If someone asks me way too many questions about my arm, I say it was bitten off by a great white shark in Hawaii where I was a surfing champion.”

~ Mia

“I have been to two different schools and had to explain about my arms a lot. I just try be patient with people, and I tell them about what happened.”

~Li

“Where I live, people are nice. People stare, but only the brave ones ask what happened. I admire that. I talk to them about it and try to answer their questions. People ask me stuff like, ‘How do you get dressed?’  and I tell them I use a dressing stick.”

~ Debra

Feeling Self-Conscious

“I often feel self-conscious. Whenever I feel this way I always try to remember how much good there is in my life, and I think about all my strengths, not my weaknesses.”

~ Beau

“I know what its like to be treated differently just because you're not ‘normal.’ Well I'll tell you what, we are normal. There’s this quote that my friend came up with and I really like it. ‘You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same!’ I really like and can relate to that quote. I try to explain to people what happened and I try to show them that I'm really not that different from them. If that doesn't work then there’s really nothing that you can do. Just be nice to them and hopefully they'll figure it out that you're really a nice person.”

~ Nicole

“I try not to be self-conscious. I like to look good. I think I amaze some people because I take care of myself.”

~ Debra

Advice for New Amputees

“For anyone who is a new amputee, I have no idea how you must feel. I cannot remember having my left leg, and my left arm has been missing my radius bone since I was born. All that I can tell you is that you should try to thank God every day that it was not your life that was taken. Keep your head held high.”

~ Beau

“At first you might be embarrassed, shy, or self-conscious, but after awhile, you'll get confident. Sometimes I actually kind of enjoy people's stares and surprised looks. I walk with my chin up, and wave and smile. If I'm going to meet new people, I don't want them to think I'm ashamed of my arm. Sometimes I even wear a bright arm-sock my sister decorated with fabric paint. People will see you differently, but you will feel better if choose to you treat the attention as a compliment.”

~ Mia

“I would tell a new amputee, “Don’t be ashamed about the way you are because you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Be positive, and never give up on things you want to do or learn.”

~ Li

“I was born with the need for prosthetics so I've been using them all my life. I would tell a new amputee that it’s going to be alright. Don't freak out and think ‘Oh my God, there’s no one like me. I'm a freak of nature!’ because that’s not true. You just happen to be a unique person. Don't worry, there are other people like you and they know what you’re going through.”

~ Nicole

“You need to have confidence. You do look different, but that’s the way it’s going to be. Get used to it.”

~ Debra

People Treating You Differently

“Some people think I can't do things, but I just go up to them and say. ‘Thanks for your help but if you don't mind, I would like to do it myself.’”

~ Li

“I am sure that a lot of people do underestimate me because of my arm and leg. What I do is prove to them that I can do anything. I am in the Kingsford High School Marching Band, directed by Mr. Ben Sherk. Our band plays songs and marches formations during our varsity football halftime. I do my best to stay in step and keep up with my fellow classmates. People from the stands are sometimes surprised that I have an artificial leg, when they see how I do on the field. They can not see it through the long pants.”

~ Beau

“I have two good friends who are twins. Sometimes they think I won’t be able to reach things when I have my legs off, so they’ll get it for me. They offer to sharpen my pencil or any other thing that they think I won’t t be able to handle (LOL).”

~ Nicole

Friends & Family

“My friends and family are never too protective of me. They understand what I can and can’t do. They all understand that I am independent enough to speak for myself and they see me doing things on my own. My friends are especially supportive of me. They do things for me that they don’t do with their other friends. For example, the other day I was leaving the house and said, ‘Hey Cody,’ to my friend. He turned around and tied my left shoe for me. Since my left leg is the artificial one, I can’t tie that one. Somebody pointed out to me that that was a really nice thing for him to do, and I never thought twice about it. I guess sometimes you take the little things for granted.”

~ Beau

“My friends support me by helping me with things that they know I can't do, without me even asking. They back me up when someone say something that's not true about me. They treat me like I’m not any different and I do have two hands.”

~ Li

“My friends love me for who I am and would not like me any other way. My cousins really look out for me in High School, and support me in everything that I do. My legs make me unique and I have a unique personality to go with it. The people in my grade have grown accustomed to my ‘disability’ and they're cool with it.”

~ Nicole

“My friends stick up for me a lot. They know when I can’t fix my hair or something and they’ll help me out. I started getting a lot of back pain recently and they really did a lot for me.”

~ Debra

Advice for Parents

“If your child is embarrassed about his or her difference, don’t force them to tell their story about it. It is up to them if they share this personal information. If you really want your child to open up about themselves, the best way to make sure your child feels secure and ok about his or her disability would be to send them to the ACA Youth Camp. Remember, give your child the opportunity to go, but don’t force him or her. This camp has made me feel good about myself, and I am looking forward to going back next year.”

~ Beau

“I would tell parents of a kid missing arm or a leg to be there when he/she needs you. Try to challenge your kid, perhaps even trying things they think are impossible, but don't be pushy about it. Have a positive attitude.”

~ Li

“My parents really want me to be independent. You can overdo the push for independence, but parents shouldn’t do everything for their kids either.”

~ Debra

Sports & Recreation

“I love to play soccer. When our team has to do a “throw in” and I’m right next to the ball, I just ask another player on the team to do it. I can’t do it the right way according to the league rules. The other players understand, but it bothers me that I can't do it.”

~ Li

“I love to bowl, and I am pretty good at it. My right hand is perfectly normal, so I have very little problem playing. All I do is stand at the foul line and throw the ball. My high game is 189 and my average is in the 130’s.”

~ Beau

“My parents are always pushing me to things that people think that someone with my ‘disability’ couldn't do. I have an above knee prosthesis on my right leg and a below the knee prosthetic on my left leg along with only a thumb on my right hand. I ride horses and compete with them. I've been in marching band for three years and have been playing the trumpet for five years, and I love it. Some of my favorite things to do are ride my four-wheeler out in the ten-acre field that makes up our backyard, and play any Guitar Hero game.”

~ Nicole

“I’m not a ‘sports’ girl. I’m more of a couch potato, but now that I’m seeing a physical therapist, he’s making me exercise.”

~ Debra

Prostheses

“I don't wear prostheses because I can do better things without them. I don't mind showing my arms.”

~ Li

“I wear my prostheses all day, every day, except at night. That would be just a little too much (joking).”

~ Nicole

“I got a prosthesis when I was little, but I found I could do so much more without it. Now that I’m older and I’m experiencing some back pain from stretching, bending, and straining my body, I wonder if a prosthesis would be beneficial. I’m more comfortable without one.”

~ Debra

Funny Stories

“In my elementary school, everyone knew me and was used to my arm. I was expecting a familiar teacher for fourth grade, but we got a new teacher who had just moved here from LA. She went around and shook everyone's right hand, making sure it WAS the right one. I stuck out my left hand and she said, “Nope, your right hand." So I gave her my right hand. She was very surprised.”

~ Mia

“I have many funny stories about my leg. One of my favorites is when people try to give me a dead leg. This is when someone punches you in thigh muscle and it hurts a lot. Last summer I was in a boat with one of my friends. He went to punch my thigh but he chose the wrong one and hit my prosthesis and screamed. We laugh about it to this day.”

~ Beau

“There was this one time that I was driving my four-wheeler around and I was changing the gears when my left leg fell off. I had to reach down, shift the ATV into reverse, back up to where my leg was, hop off and put it back on. My mom was driving back with the golf cart and asked ‘What's wrong?’ when she saw me climbing back onto my four-wheeler. I said ‘Oh, its nothing,’ and drove off.”

~ Nicole

“One time someone asked my mom what drugs she was on when she was pregnant. Her response was, ‘I just took and aspirin and look what happened!’ We had a new principal at my school this year. She decided to come up to me and say, ‘You’re amazing!’ and then walk off. My friends and I thought that was pretty funny. I crack jokes about my arms all the time.”

~ Debra

How We Want to Be Treated

“If I could give other people one bit of advice about how to treat me, I would tell them to just treat me like anyone else. Let me do the things that I want, even if it looks impossible. If I ask for your help, then you can help.”

~Li

“If I could tell the world one thing, I would tell everyone to be more understanding and empathetic, not sympathetic. Please do not look down on me or feel sorry for me. I want everyone to understand the way it feels to be different. I want the same level of respect you would give to any other person.”

~ Beau

“I would like to tell people that it’s not easy. It’s even harder when you don’t support us. Try to offer your support and focus more on empathy than sympathy.”

~ Debra

How Your Arm/Leg Has Changed You

“Well, I like to talk. I get a lot of compliments and it makes me feel good.”

~ Debra

“I am 100% certain that I am the person that I am today because of my disabilities. To effectively live through school the way I am, I had to develop a high level of self-esteem and I had to learn not to be shy. A lot of people will never change the way they talk or think about others, but you can make a difference in how it affects you. I really don’t care about what some people say about me. If they cannot accept me the way I am, then it is their problem, not mine.”

~ Beau

*Photos courtesy of 2007 ACA Youth Camp*